Am I pregnant again...
I just flew back into Perth, I wanted to be with my parents for the Pregnancy test. Coming up for my 40th Birthday and celebrations were planned in Perth with my nearest and dearest.
I have to admit, being the social butterfly that I like to think of myself as, I was thinking oh this could be a very sober 40th Birthday year... but you know what, I couldn't care less about that, if this pregnancy test is positive - it will be the BEST 40th birthday present ever!! I have decided this Birthday Year deserves its very own hashtag - #fraserfest40 And everything related to the year of being 40 will be tagged.
Results are in...
...YES!!!! I had defied all of the odds and went through IUI again as early as May and yes I fell pregnant just 4 months after the twins, through the first round of IUI and with the same donor I had previously selected.
Emotions that spring to mind are ECSTATIC and PLEASED and RELIEVED - in fact this would be an understatement. I am SO LUCKY and HAPPY!! However, then of course guilt crept back in and the sad reality that this baby will never know its twin brothers.
A heartfelt "Thank you" to everyone who had supported me on this journey and reminded me of the strength I had, to go through it again. I spoke in my previous blog about how difficult it was to start this next cycle and what an emotional wreck I was but now I am pleased that I used every ounce of strength to go through it again. I'M PREGNANT!
The first thing I did was cry (of course!) and mum and dad also had a cry! Then we went to the park and let 2 balloons go, in memory of Sebastien and Samuel, and to celebrate a new life and their little brother or sister - hopefully.
I know there is a long journey ahead of me but I intend to stay as positive as I possibly can. I appreciate there will be lots of anxiety along the way, particularly those first 20 weeks but here's hoping this baby is my Rainbow Baby - a baby that is conceived and born to a parent, after the loss of previous babies or infants.
WOW!! This is by far my happiest blog post! In the words of Riley Keough -
Life changes so quickly, feeling grateful to be around such wonderful people to strengthen and grow with.