January 2017...Memories and Anticipation
I have made it to January 2017, with a wonderful pregnancy but a solid year of anxiety, guilt, worries and caution combined with excitement and anticipation.
This past weekend was a difficult one... it was exactly a year ago, 7th January 2016, that I delivered my twin boys Sebastien and Samuel, I never got to meet them properly before I had to say goodbye to them. There I was bringing 2 souls into the world on the Thursday and on Friday 8th, I was at the cemetery filling out a Cremation Certificate citing my relationship to them as "Mother", cremating my little boys whom I had never met and feeling such pain and sadness, that I truly never thought humanly possible.
I talked about Rainbow Day in a previous post back in July - RAINBOW DAY is 15th October and has global recognition, it is a day where we recognise all of those babies born following a miscarriage, neonatal death, stillbirth, or infant loss of a previous pregnancy. We honour those Angels that were born for just a moment in our lives.
So a year on... I have exactly 15 days to go until I deliver my very own Rainbow Baby. On the weekend I took a photo of me holding Seb & Sam's ashes on my Baby Bump, (as you can see in this Post's image) I let 2 blue balloons go up into the sky by the Swan River and had breakfast with my family, in honour and celebration of my little twin boys, whom I will always cherish and remember and whom I know will always be looking down on their little sister. I have decided that on the 7th January every year, I will be conducting the same memorial ritual with my daughter, as we remember her brothers.
I read something beautiful the other day that says, as a Mother and her Child there is one bond that nobody else will ever have, your child that has been growing inside of you is the only human being who has ever heard your heartbeat from the inside. This is so true and for that 4.5 months my boys were growing as part of me, for that short time they were truly loved and cared for and we had our own bond - nobody can ever take that away from me and it is a true privilege that I get to carry in my heart for the rest of my days.
I am now on a personal mission, only 2 weeks out from meeting my very own Rainbow Daughter, that in Australia we recognise RAINBOW DAY. I have researched this and found that in 2008 Nicole Ballinger of the State of New South Wales (NSW) approached her State and Federal MPs to request their help in establishing this Day. On October 14, 2011, Hancock and NSW Health Minister Jillian Skinner announced the official declaration of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in NSW.
The campaign for WA began in 2012 by John & Kate De'Laney, resulting in the Western Australian State Government passing a bipartisan agreement to officially recognize Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, on October 15, 2014.
As of 2016, Ballinger continues to lobby the Australian government, to get RAINBOW DAY recognised across Australia.
An online petition has been setup by John & Kate De'Laney to garner support - “National Recognition of Oct 15 – Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day”.
I have also found a dedicated organisation - PILARI but can't seem to get through to anyone behind this and it seems to have ceased operation a few years back, if any of you are aware of the status of this organisation, please do let me know.
By creating more awareness of miscarriage, neonatal death, stillbirth, or infant loss and Rainbow Day, my aim is to work with others to generate a greater awareness across Australia and the world, about the impact that pregnancy and early infancy loss has on so many women, their partners and families. Whilst researching I found this very nice quote that came from Colin Barnett when he passed the bipartisan agreement to officially recognize Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, "...most importantly, this remembrance day acknowledges that these babies were lovingly anticipated and remain forever in their parents’ hearts."
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